Dear Muse,
I just want to say that I am really looking forward to our work today. I have quite a number of amazing ideas I want to run by you and get working on. I think they have the potential to be some of my best stuff. As soon as you get here we’ll start crackin’. This is going to be off the hook!
Affectionately yours,
Ron
Dear Muse,
Hey, it’s been a couple of hours since I wrote. Did you get my note? I told you I have some really good ideas. I’m anxious to get started on these. Just waiting on you to show up. Let’s do this thing!
With anticipation,
Ron
Dear Muse,
I stepped away from my desk for a while to grab a bite to eat and read a few magazines. Hey, have you read the latest issues of Wired, Fast Company and Filmmaker magazines lately? Some really good stuff in there. Gave me some more ideas. Just need my old partner to get her little butt over here so we can make some magic. Yeah, that would be you. 😉
With love,
Ron
Dear Muse,
I just finished watching the new season of Westworld, all the director Hollywood Reporter Roundtables, seventeen movie trailers, “Waiting for Guffman,” “(500) Days of Summer,” “Avengers: Endgame” all the bonus features on disc 2 of the “Social Network” Collector’s DVD set (twice), two-thirds of Fellini’s “8-1/2”, and all the opening scenes to Quentin Tarantino’s “Reservoir Dogs,” “Pulp Fiction,” “Kill Bill: Book 1,” and “Inglorious Bastards.” I still have not found you. I’m really getting worried now. Are you okay?
Sincerely concerned,
Ron
Dear Muse,
Okay. My concern has just turned into anger. I just spent God knows how long watching “Freaks” on Netflix, Ryan Connolly’s “There Comes a Knockin’“, Peter McKinnon’s latest YouTube video, and that cool new Amazon Original. Clearly you ARE actually working, just not with ME! WTF!
Confused and annoyed,
Ron
Dear Muse,
I would like to point you to paragraph 3, of section XIV, sub-section 10.3 of our binding agreement that expressly states that you will work with me to create works of art that will inspire, encourage, and entertain all who view them. That you will instill within me a sense of purpose and confidence. I don’t want to have to go “Irishman” on your ass, but I will if I have to. I expect you to hold up to your agreement!
Cordially yours,
Ron
Dear Muse,
I HATE you!
Ron
Dear Muse,
Please forgive my last couple of notes. I’m just really frazzled. A lot’s going on. I have all these bills to pay, the economy sucks, my internet is slow (again), this whole Pandemic thing. Ugh! Just so much weighing on my soul. I didn’t mean to take it out on you. Please forgive me.
Apologetically yours,
Ron
Dear Muse,
It’s 3:45 a.m. I can’t wait around any longer. I don’t know what it is I did to offend you. But I hope to see you when I wake.
I forgive you.
Ron
The next day…
Dear Ron,
Wow. That’s quite a bit you had to write. On the record, since you are so fond of pointing out paragraphs in contracts, let me point YOU to paragraph 1, section 1, sentence 1: “The Muse (herein “Muse”) will show up when YOU show up” (emphasis mine).
Off the record, let me just say, who the hell do you think helped you write all those missives? You quite often have a mis-directed sense of creative energy. If you would spend more time doing work-work and less time writing epistles to me, or drooling over everybody else’s work, you might actually get some REAL work done.
As far as you forgiving me? Spare me your insincere, pretentious, melodramatic dribble and just do what YOU are supposed to do. I got my end handled very well thank you. WTF is right.
Just keeping it real,
The Muse
P.S. You might want to read Pressfield’s “The War of Art” again. Just sayin’.
